Ryan Giggs Is Outed

Almost a whole year before Man City’s Yaya Touré fell victim, the dongle sign struck Ryan Giggs. Or is it the other way around?

Scotland’s Sunday Herald made a bold joke of one government enforced gag order over the weekend when it splashed an easily identifiable picture profile of the footballer at the centre of the EPL’s latest injunction scandal. Editor Richard Walker explained his decision to showcase one particular Manchester United icon’s barely-censored face by claiming he wished to expose ‘the lunacy of the situation’ (as opposed to boosting newsstand sales of his Sunday paper, as naysayers are arguing). He continued by stating the obvious: ‘The law is not keeping up with with the way we live today.’

Coincidentally, earlier this morning the British tabloid, The Sun, tried but failed to overturn its own injunction which prevent the daily paper from printing details about the aforementioned footballer’s trysts with Imogen Thomas. Well, thanks to a loose-lipped Member of Parliament (or several, if you’re counting), we now know that the ‘love rat’ at the centre of a cheating scandal involving the reality telly ‘star’ is Ryan Giggs.

Since we chose to miss the boat(s) on speculating about this sensationally sordid situ, we can now confirm the following Tru Fax:

Fact: Imogen Thomas makes our teeth itch.

Fiction: Ryan Giggs is suing Twitter. Not so, due to many legal loopholes spanning the Atlantic Ocean. Technically-speaking, he was granted a search order by a UK High Court to try and uncover the identity of the user behind the now infamous Twitter handle, @injunctionsuper. Obvi there are many, many hurdles to a case such as this, so it’s likely this issue will never see the light of day.

Fact: Giggsy is making us sad by his ‘I’ll show you!’ attitude over silencing the truth. Which, in turn, makes us all the more sympathetic for his wife, Stacey (née Cooke), and his two bubbas, Zach and Libby.

Fact: We’re sure you’ve got plenty to say about this matter, Kickettes. In fact, several of you have already privately expressed your surprise and disappointment at the affair.

Fiction: It’s okay to go hog wild in our comments section. The usual guidelines apply in the usual locale. Any and all other defamatory statements and off topic debatery shall be deleted.